TORTURED Suzanne Henke has a series of confessions that will horrify women all over the country.
Despite being desperate to have children, in six years she aborted THREE healthy babies and FANTASISED about having miscarriages.
She SECRETLY tried to get rid of her husbands child and even SWIGGED castor oil to start labour dangerously early.
Now a mum to a beautiful little boy, Suzanne, 29, still feels guilt for what she did.
But there was no evil intent only a rare condition that produces a crippling extreme version of morning sickness.
Hyperemesis gravidarum, known as HG, has no known cause and strikes only one in every 100 pregnant women.
Suzanne, speaking exclusively to The People, said: I am deeply ashamed of my behaviour and not a day goes by when I don't think of the three babies I aborted. I long to hold them in my arms.
But unless you have HG you have no idea how ill it makes you. I thank God my husband stopped me terminating my last pregnancy, otherwise my Stephen would not be here. I am desperate for him to have a brother or sister.
Cuddling the tot on her lap, Suzanne recalled: I learned I had HG when I was pregnant at 18 with my boyfriend. Six weeks into the pregnancy Suzanne was overcome by waves of sickness.
She went to hospital and was put on a drip to stop her dehydrating. Suzanne said: I kept waiting for the medication they gave me to kick in but it didn't. I lay on a ward full of other pregnant women, vomiting up to 40 times a day.
I was so ill I collapsed on the floor curled in a ball.
My head pounded, my throat was raw from the stomach acid and I was so weak I kept wetting myself. The women on the ward were horrified but I was so ill I didn't care. Instead of a baby I just saw this thing inside trying to kill me. I couldn't think straight.
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